June 29

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I say, my voice still raised, “the man here is a thief. I suggest you check yourselves to ensure that your valuables are still in place…”
He’s sweating even more now as the crowd begins to turn on him. He didn’t learn Bert’s lesson, it looks like. Well, that’s what separates the chumps like him from, well, lesser chumps like Bert. “I didn’t take nothin’!”
“Bullshit!” Kyle says. “You took her notebook, and now you’re givin’ it back!”
“Or what?” Hood-E-Scuz says.
“My friend here,” I start, “knows quite a bit about pain. Don’tcha, Kyle?” She nods as she stands, shakily. “And me? I like to watch her work.”
“You’re gonna have to make me, ya dumb bi…”
“See, you ruined my trip out with my cousin,” I say, frowning. Maris nods, having picked up on the similar words in English and French. “I’m disappointed that she couldn’t see America, the land of the free, without some jackass like you proving to her that she should just stay up in Canada.”
“Tough sh–”
“I’m not finished!” I shout. Three people grab his arms and hold him still. “Now, instead of a nice, relaxing day out, we had to spend two hours chasing your dumb ass all over this mall.” I’m face to face with him now. “That ends now.”

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